A GUN, A GHOST AND TWO OLOKPAS

Lying down with my face on the floor. I felt the orifice of a gun on my head. A voice kept screaming, "so you think say you big pass this gun abi?
I go burst your brain now."
"Johnny calm down na."
"Oya Roger us the money now or we lock you for cell."
I made no movement. He hit the tapered end of my scapular. I wanted to scream but I was too angry to.
I believed I did nothing wrong.
"I don't have any money on me."
"So with all this oyibo you no get shishi?"
"We no dey joke oh. Bring money come out now", said the second guy.
"Lie down there."
It is 8.00pm
I'm still furious. I already killed them in my mind. Still on the ground, I felt sand in my eyes. But that didn't matter. I was too angry to care about that. I wished I could snap their necks.
"Guy, I dey hungry oh. Use that your one thousand that buy us roasted yam and bolle."
"You never pay me for the last time oh."
No worry I go use the money wey this guy go give us take pay you."
He crossed the road and minutes later he's back
"Guy money no reach."
"Na wa for you oh. You no get gun again?
Just show am gun and she go reduce the money for you."
"Abi? I no even reason am."
"As soon as I heard that, I realized this people can kill me, then create some crappy story about what happened.
I muttered a few hail Marys. Fear had gripped me. I realized they could kill me and get away with it. And nothing is holding them back.
Just then, a man walks in. He asked what I did, then paid the so-called ransom.
I laid there still confused who the man was and why he would help me. I couldn't fathom how a stranger could just come help me. I was even more scared.
"I hope I'm not going to be kidnapped for real", I thought.
" Young man, get up. You're free to go."
I stood up quietly, and just started walking away. The stranger followed me.
"So you no know say that place na no go area?"
I didn't realize how shocked I was till I tried opening my mouth.
"Yes sah."
Just then something bit me on my thigh. Turn to scratch it and at the same time I said, "thank you sah."
I turned around, and I could find no one with me.
A cold wind swept passed me and my head swelled.
"Ifite?"
Boarded a bus back to my hostel. As I sat on the bus, I could not stop thanking God.
"Ole ole ole ole ole ole!"
I just passed the common room and Real Madrid won a match. I stepped into the room and took my shirt off.
"Guy die by black hole!"
"I'm not in the mood for this."
"Die by mood."
Minutes later, I stepped into the bathroom.I scrubbed and I scrubbed. I could feel tears welling up just above the bottom lid. I got out of the bathroom and slipped into a blanket and slept off.

PS: This is a work of fiction. It is not connected to real life event.
Genre: Realistic Fiction.

A NIGHT CALL

I stood still for hours hoping the call would come in.
My name is Frank Alexander. And what I'm about to tell you is no fairy tale.
It is thirtyfirst of December, 2009.
I had left for church. There was supposed to be held a night vigil. The night was cold.
As I stepped into the church, and someone ran like in a scene of these romance movies and hugged me. It was both shocking and embarrassing. I stood there wrapped around by her arms and mine down as if being held strong by gravity. She didn't mind that I felt awkward by the whole arrangement. It was just too fortuitous. She said she has been hoping to run into me for like the past ten years.
I swallowed a thick big ball of sputum.
It's five minutes into meeting her and I haven't said any words yet.
She kept going on and on and I kept on nodding in the affirmative.
No doubt, she was pretty.
"I was going to go into the church."
"Are you coming?"
She said,"why, it's great out here."
"It's cool out here. And you know I'm not a catholic."
"She kept on trying to make eye contact.
I did often differed the gaze with a countenance decountenancing the gesture.
"what happened to your blue eyes?"
"What? Blue? Eyes?"
"Are you wearing contacts or something?"
"I totally don't understand what you mean."
"Ehn, what's your number? It would be horrible if I did forget."
"Zero seven zero eight one nine eight one eight two four."
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I was about to save her number when I got stuck at the name."
So I punched in the name Jane and saved it.
"You don't remember my name?"
I thought I discreetly saved her name to the contact but I was wrong.
"It's been ten years! Who would?"
"I didn't forget yours. Douglas Okoro", she said.
"And who is that?"
"You!"
"That is not my name! We are birds of a feather after all."
"What are you talking about.
Your full name is Douglas Chukwuebuka Okoro. Born on 14th July. From a family of four: three sisters and one boy. You are the only boy. Are you still in doubt?"
"No no no. Your making this up. None of that is true. I was birthed on 15th October.
One sister; three other brothers. My full name is Allen John Chukwuemeka Johnson.
Though you got the Chukwu correct."
"We attended the same school in Jos."
"No no. I've never been to Jos."
"I've never left Port Harcourt."
"But my parents moved down from Jos. But that was before they got married."
"So if what you're saying is true, how come you were talking to me like you know me. Why didn't you try to leave."
"I'm a gentleman. I can't let a beauty pass by even if it was a mistake."
"Akuko."
"To be frank, I'm seeing you for the first time."
to be continued...

"Five, four, three, two, one!
Happy new year!"
They both forgot what the discussion was and got lost in the euphoria of the new year.
"So what's your new year resolution", I asked.
" To stop hugging people until I'm sure they are known to me."
They both laughed.
"You are very funny. For one, I didn't freak out though."
"Thank God you didn't", she said with a shimmering smile.
"So do we just forget something is amiss here, she asked."
"I'm still pondering on who the person you knew was", I answered.
"Could it be a twin or just someone that incredibly resembles me", I wondered aloud.
"we would never know", she replied.
It was 12:30am now and the church compound was now almost empty.
They said their goodbyes and parted ways.
As he jumped on his bed, he murmured to himself.
"lying has never been this fun."
My name is Frank Alexander. And this is the story of my friend, Allen.
The time is 4:30am, and I just dropped a call from my friend Allen.
The End!

A Stolen Episode

He stepped in with grace, like one who has a million dollar to his name.
"I would like a ticket for that movie."
After starting at the brochure for minutes, he made a move for the movie with 'Thor' on the poster. As he was about leaving the booth, a girl stepped in, and stepped on his foot. He turned, taking a look at her, he saw she was giving him a countenance which seemed to read— "you no dey see road?"
Being a gentleman of some degree, he motioned to get his pop corn.
There he was, collecting the 'swear' of a pop corn and the vicious lady nearly knock it off of his hand, but for the almost instant intervention of his reflex.
"Shit!"
He walked into the viewing room only to realise he was being stalked by someone. He didn't turn to check inorder not to summon an ambience of awkwardness. As he stepped into his seat, a voice said, "may I sit?"
"Most certainly," he said.
"So he stood you up right?"
"You would know, wouldn't you," she retorted.
"There are very few instances that lead a lady here alone."
"Really," she replied.
"He said he was going to show up, then he thought better of it."
"So I'm not worth meeting?"
"Good. Tell that to him."
Then he continued.
"He most likely got himself a nice believable excuse for when next you two meet. You are always early in everything you do and obviously the heart of your 'relationship', so you made it earlier than the rendezvous time, only for him to stall. Now you're already here, I'm guessing you are the type that can't let a moment go to waste. So you bought yourself a ticket and almost ruined my evening in the process.
" Is that all, or you still have some divining to do? "
"Wait, let me ask Ifa."
"You're a nairalander," she cut in almost immediately.
"Yah."
"Shh!"
Someone shushed them from in front.
"Shut up too, or I don't believe it," she slammed.
They both laughed as she used the colloquial nairaland phrase.
Their 'shusher' got up, moved to another seat and sat there.
"You do know your boyfriend is not around, right?"
"I've got you."
"Ha ha ha. You don't 'gat' me," shaking his head as he gave her a dissuading countenance.
"Make I here," she said smiling while calling his bluff.
The movie was soon over with neither of them glimpsing at the big screen. They both stepped out of the cinema and he made as if to leave.
"You didn't even tell me your name," she said.
"Okay then. I'm Guy Xander."
"Really? I meant your real name."
"That's short for Gaius Alexander."
"Oh. I'm Jane Janet. That's my Facebook name."
"I thought we were exchanging real names."
"Well, who said I believed Gauis Alexander is your real name,"she said as she bade her farewell.

PS: Intellectual property of Antonio Francesco